Sleep strange gift guide

Suits you sir!

Ever squeezed into your economy flight seat for a long haul flight before realising that you forgot to pack your jim jams into your cabin luggage? Of course not, because you’re in economy!

But, what if you sauntered on to your flight wearing a sharp suit that was actually pyjamas? Fake it till you make it…into business class. Head to bed looking like you’ve just stepped out of the boardroom or at least a lapdancing booth.

Stay classy, stay legendary says the marketing. Our recommendation is at least stay away from the New York Marathon finish line in case you accidentally get mistaken for a heat blanket. Complement these silk suit PJs with a plush and uber luxurious silk and wool Hush pillow.

Boyfriend blues

When you miss that feeling of a man’s strong arm holding you close as you drift off to la la land, then why not settle for the next best thing – a pillow. Be that caring friend to your singleton mate with a pillow that’s shaped like a boyfriend’s arm. It will hold you close, while still making you feel slightly lonely and sad at the same time.

At least the Boyfriend Pillow does not itch his private parts during snuggles on the couch. It’s a perfect companion for the holidays while you binge Bridget Jones Diary, the next one when she’s split from Mr Darcy and the last one when Renee Zellweger’s face looks weird. Of course, Sleepyhead sells pillows, less gimmacky more comfortable but hey, we’re not judging.

Sleep anywhere

Got a friend who has literally zero care of what others think of them? Well, here’s the perfect Christmas gift that challenges them to draw a line in the sand – unless they suffer from narcolepsy and you’re actually doing them a favour.

This Ostrichpillow will test the limits of someone’s overriding need to nap. Named thus because it will make anyone firmly stand out in a desert of normal people milling about doing normal things. However, if sleep trumps ruddy faced embarrassment, go ahead and click purchase now and wait for all the lols to roll in when they fall asleep on a crowded bus.

One night in Banclock

Alarm clocks are a bit passe, except in hotel rooms where they’re nearly impossible to unplug since the cord is jammed behind the 14 tonne mahogany side table. This one, however, won’t keep you awake with it’s red digital glare and dreams are definitely not free. The Banclock requires you to pay money in order to shut up the annoying Thai jingle that loops over and over, jolting you out of sleep with all the speed and pain of a Tuk Tuk driver on his last fare for the day. It takes all major currencies.

Sleep survivor

Ever been hiking & found yourself wondering why your rain jacket doesn’t convert to a tent? We’ve all been there, especially Bear Grylls, who definitely did NOT come up with this adventure addition to no one’s outdoor plans.

This jacket doesn’t just convert to a tent, it also transforms into a bag too. Of course, little thought has been given as to where you store food, sleeping equipment, cooking utensils, clothes etc etc but that’s semantics that you won’t need to worry about until you are hungry, cold and lost in the wilderness.

Maybe it comes with an emergency transponder attached and an insurance policy inside. Not sure what holiday you’re going on this summer but real beds do one job and we love them for it.